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Children who have actually been abused will often recant their initial statement because they are afraid of their abuser or because their abuser convinces them that this is “their little secret.” And, children who have never been sexually abused will, based on normal child development, go through phases of curiosity and misunderstandings about their genitals and about sexual activity.
Several clues are associated with sexual abuse as opposed to normal development (but many children give no clues except what they say): Hopefully, nothing significant happened to your little girl, but if my daughter came to me with the same story I would not let the situation go uninvestigated.
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Children’s intense need for affection and nurturance from older figures makes them vulnerable.
Adults and older children hold a position of tremendous power in their lives.
The scenario you have described is the most frequent way actual abuse is detected.
In at least half of the cases of child abuse that are confessed by the abuser, there are no findings on physical exam.
The most common perpetrator of sexual abuse is either a family member or a close friend of the family. Sexual abuse commonly comes to light through the child’s disclosing the incident of sexual contact to a trusted adult.
Historically, a child’s word was not taken seriously.
This is generally followed by a physical examination of the external genitals, checking for any sign of trauma, laxity, or discharge.
Sometimes this will be done with magnification, using an instrument called a colposcope.