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Four weeks ago, as part of a house move, my wife dug out an old laptop that she had not used for ages and asked me if I could take all of her old photos off the laptop and put them on our main computer.

So, two weekends ago, I began moving the photos, folder by folder.

There is no other way — and Josie’s husband really should accept that, too.

He can’t walk away from her jealous pain, nor can you deny your wife the chance to explain that she was like that then, but isn’t now.

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You, Mike, know you have to talk this through with your wife.

These are the secrets which can destroy a marriage — but only if we allow ourselves to be defined by sexuality. It seems to me that Josie needs to seek counselling (try Relate or a therapist through uk) to try to unpick her corrosive jealousy.

There will be reasons for this lack of self-esteem and she should try to find them.

There I go again, making the old suggestion of ‘joining a group’! I interviewed Seamus for The Times in 1984 and again for BBC Radio 4 in 1987, and treasure letters from him and a couple of special gifts.

But autumn is here, and it might be a good time to sign up for a course to learn something entirely new. I last saw him at the unveiling of the Ted Hughes memorial in Westminster Abbey in 2011 and his warmth was undiminished, despite failing health.

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